Consensual BDSM Humiliation and degradation…
Is it a punishment? Is it pleasurable? Is it damaging?
Well, it entirely depends on how the act is carried out and who it’s carried out on. Let’s take a quick look at this aspect of BDSM and then we’ll jump to the list of things you can try.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM
In general…
- Humiliation is something that causes embarrassment – like going outside naked.
- Degradation is when you try to lower or dehumanize someone – making them act like a piece of furniture or an animal.
Humiliation, the bottom keeps their “humanness”, degradation they don’t. However, it is possible for some acts of degradation to ALSO humiliate.
HOW ARE THEY USED?
SLAVE TRAINING – Teaching them to perform certain acts
PUNISHMENTS – Correcting unwanted behavior
PLEASURE – Some people enjoy the act of humiliation or degradation
BDSM GAMES – Adding these as part of a game situation can add an extra layer of chance, anticipation, or anxiety.
BEING SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL
1. H/D in any form should be discussed ahead of time – before any scene or interaction with a Dom and sub. Either by better behavior or a fun time, participants should be aiming for a positive outcome.
2. It should never damage a sub’s headspace, make them feel unsafe, or trigger them to past traumas. Punishments should be clear and consistent.
I’ll also add that anything involving a “public place” can’t really be “public”. Places like sex clubs, BDSM gatherings, a private gathering of kinky friends, kink festivals, private property (no trespassing) etc. are the only places you can perform acts of H/D in front of other people Even then you have to stay within the rules of whatever place you’re in.
Why?
Because strangers walking down the street – vanilla or otherwise – are not able (or might not want to) consent to seeing it. Forcing someone to do this (eg. by parading your sub naked down the street) breaks the SSSC rule and is, therefore, a form of abuse. You also must consider there could be young and impressionable eyes about.
BDSM is already misrepresented. Kink acts in public damage the community’s reputation.
3. Any sex acts, or anything that involves bodily fluid, should be dealt with as much safety as possible – contraceptives, condoms, STD test, trusted partners, etc.
4. Also, Doms need to make sure that these acts don’t compromise their sub’s private life, job, family dynamic etc. If extreme privacy is needed, Doms must adjust accordingly.
HUMILIATION AND DEGRADATION IDEAS
Some of these are male-specific, some are for women, but many will work for any identified gender.
- Force a male sub to wear slutty women’s lingerie (force cross-dressing).
- If it’s a woman, make her go out with no underwear beneath her clothing.
- Make them go to the grocery store and buy the largest cucumber or eggplant they can find and a bottle of lube.
- Make them wear a chastity belt under the clothes when they go to work.
- Make them wear a smartphone-controlled sex toy (like a butt plug, love egg, or prostate massager) when they go out and set it off whenever you wish.
- Tie them up outside and leave them there for a designated period of time.
- Make him tan while wearing a bikini.
- Make them wear embarrassing outfits when they go out – take it an extra step and make them go to a Wal-Mart (the store is infamous for customers with strange clothing – their photo will probably end up on some social media site).
- If it’s a man, make him wear panties and a bra under their clothes.
- Make them perform rimming (on their Dom or even another person).
- Have them shave off all their body hair, eyebrows too
- Make him wear feminine deodorant or perfume.
- Make him sit down to pee.
- Make them write something on social media.
- Have them write their own blog, with lots of details about their humiliations.
- Make them admit something embarrassing, then share the news with others.
- Make them sing a difficult song and point out every flaw.
- Share them sexually with other kinksters.
- Make them go to “strangers” and admit a mistake or something embarrassing.
- Make them wear an O-ring gag and have them talk … a lot (makes them DROOL all over the place).
- Make them look through a magazine and have them tell you all the ways they’re not as attractive.
- Make them watch porn and have them share all the things that turn them on. *The stranger the porn, the better.
- Make him wear nail polish.
- Write insulting names or phrases on their body with a permanent marker.
- Make them consume their own cum after an orgasm.
- Have them act as a piece of furniture.
- Become a human ashtray.
- Lick the Dom’s boots clean.
- Put them in a cage display them to the “world” – lots of other humiliations can be attached to this one.
- Walk around carrying an embarrassing object – sex toy, doll, dirty magazine.
- Make them go to the store and buy a list of embarrassing products.
- Eat from a pet bowl.
- Awkward or strange masturbation methods – like making them hump a stuffed animal or into food etc.
- Don’t allow them to close the door when they go to the bathroom – comment about the disgusting smells.
- Peg him.
- Record an embarrassing action and make them watch it.
- Don’t let them speak to anyone – they can only grunt or use strange body language (in public this is fun).
- Penis humiliation – small, worthless, flaccid etc.
- Make them wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier.
- Make them dress as an animal (and act like that animal).
- Make them perform a very difficult task and tell them all the ways they are failing at completing it or doing it wrong.
- Make them wear high heels.
- Make them wear a slutty French Maid outfit and clean something (or clean a friend’s house.)
- Cover them in pudding or other sloppy foods.
- Make them eat off the floor.
- Urinate on them. Make them “wear it” for a while, and then clean it up.
- Scold them when they’ve done something wrong.
- Call them a degrading name.
- Insult their intelligence or accomplishments.
- Make them go into a photo booth and complete a list of embarrassing poses etc.
- Smear some lipstick on their mouths and make them go out.
- Make them act like a child – and treat them accordingly.
- Make them stand outside with a sign saying something embarrassing.
- The sub must (REALLY) beg for something they want/need.
- Ignore them completely.
- Spit on them.
- Don’t let them use the pronoun “I”, rather a demeaning title like “this slut” etc.
- Forced chastity – roll some dice to see how long they must go without an orgasm.
- Fuck them near a window with the blinds open.
- Pour water on the crotch of their pants (makes it look like they peed themselves) and take a walk in “public”.
- Make them give a live webcam show.
- Make them sleep on the floor.
- If you have a home-desk, make them sit under it while you work.
- Good, old-fashioned spanking.
- Laugh at them while they masturbate.
- Make them wear a paper bag over the head (with eye holes cut out).
- Make the sub watch you having sex with someone and tell them how they’ll never be as good as the person you’re fucking.
- Blackmail role play – It can only be roleplay. Real blackmail is illegal.
- Order for them when you go out for dinner.
- They must ask permission to do anything and everything.
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Any other humiliation or degradation ideas? Share in the comments!